heyness, im very sad. its nothing that surprises me though. im really worried about my friend corey. he is going through alot of the same things that i am and we have become super close. its really comforting to know that im not the only one who goes through what i go trhough. i want to know alot more about corey to. theres so much i havent told him and so much i want to get to know about him. its freaky but some of the things that people dont get or understand about me. well corey does. its so kewl that i have met someone like me. and he is best friends with nick. speaking of nick......i dont get why he pushes me away. all i want to do is be his friend, give him the world. i just want him to be happy. but if he is happy ditching me then i guess i am fine with it even though it really doe fucking hurt. bad..i dont think he knows how bad he hurts me. its fine though i guess. i just feel really worthless and abused right now. i mean i almost died for him and its like he doesnt care. whatever. people say love is the greatest thing in the world and blah blah well i think it fucking sucks and it is hell. and yes i think i can say it is love for i have never in my life ever felt this way about anybody. its so crazy. well im off to bed or i am going to try to sleep i dont think i can right now. later today when the sun actually sets again corey and me and cambria are supposed to hang out with corey...which means nick is going to be there. to ditch me again and make me sad. but i think tomorrow i am going to try and just not worry about it. but i have tried before its so hard. why cant i get over him? all nick does is hurt me. bad...peaceness im outy here. ttyl byeness signed your lord and master. Kaysi p.s. if i ever do get to be with nick...yet alone fucking talk to him or hold him in my arms....i dont think i'll ever be able to let go....