i miss my mom. she isnt in a hospital anymore and i want to see her. even though she hasnt been the best person to me i know she couldnt help what she said because she was not her. her skitzophrenia was taking over because she didnt want to go to the hospitals and it took her this long to realize what has been going on and to finally get help. and i just want her to be happy and safe and if there really is anyone trying to get her they need to go away for my skitzo is doing the same thing and i know how she feels. alone scared crushed unwanted no one to turn to. its not kewl and i fucking miss my mom. nick...i wish i hadnt fallen so in love with you. you told me you liked me and i told i liked you. wtf happened? i dont get you. and im sorry. you say no one loves you and when someone is pleading for a speck of your time that is truly in love with you right in front of your face you still dont think that anyone loves you. is that impossible to believe. well as i said i am sorry i fell in love with you. its worth it but its not. we have our good times and we have our bad you dont know what is going on and i dont think you ever will why cant you understand that i love you. i cant do this anymore and i wont. im tired of giving my love to you and you ripped a piece of my heart out every time you do this...dont walk away...please. even if we never have a relationship its fine as long as we just can be friends and you talk to me...im fine just please please...dont turn your back on me anymore it hurts so much