Randomly I decided to go back to k-mart and dumb ass anthony came runnning over and he was all "matts in the toys and he shaved his head" everyone ran over there but i waited until they left to go talk to him. wow...he looks so different he doesnt even look like a vampire anymore...i was so sad i cried...really i full on balled my eyes out i dont even know why it was just so overwelming...and now that he has his head shaved he seems like a complete different person...maybe its just me or coincidental how we have known each other for almost 2 months or so that we are more comfortable with each other but... he is alot more open...yesterday i went to k-mart again (like the fucking badass that i am) and i hung out with him more than half the time...and he took his 30 minute break and i thought he was just going to go off and be a badass that he is and i was going to go talk to ben and jose....but he came over and he was all..."so what do you want to do" he wanted to take me to a place upstairs in k-mart that no one goes to anymore but i didnt want to get him in trouble and i said some other time so i met him outside on the bench like i always do and we sat for 5 mintues or so and then he wanted to go to the donut store and he got orange tea he asked if i wanted any but i said no but now i regret it cause what if he thought i said no because of germs or something idiotic like that??? i feel bad...oh well so he doesnt like to be around alot of people so we went by green thumb on the stairs and we talked.. it was lovely really it was...hmm...what else?? oh so basically the whole night he was trying to buy me stuff i wouldnt let him...fuck i wanted to say " well if you bought me something people might think its a date" hahha i wonder what he would have said or done...god i miss his long hair so much he looks alot better with it all there but still looks absolutly lovely with it shaved....just different...alot different very different....i dont know its jsut weird to me...its like a really dramatic change...its almost crazy to me....well im going to go now enough about me and my lusting over matt....the beautiful exsquistite matt...oh my god...somebody just shoot me...im so sad i cant see him after school on valentines day he probabley wouldnt want to see me anyways...whatevers i made him something and i wrote him a letter but dum dum benny boo boo took off all fast after school so i couldnt give him the letter and what not to give to matt...how depressing...ok...so matt like makes movies just random short storie horror movies and he wants me to see them...so im happy...but when will i ever get to see them?? and i wonder if he was serious....hmm...well ben and erin are having a hotel party type thing and im going and anthony IS NOT GOING hahha (bitch) and ben wants to invite matt...i think he should go...and if he does im not going to be all over him...cause you know it might be nice but i really actually just enjoy his company and being around him and talking and even if we dont have anything to say its really nice just to be next to each other...oh god...he started walking and sitting close to me...oh god...why do i notice these little dumb things that prolly mean nothing to him?? ok i really have to go im being pathetic...why do i like him so much??