"Cause I Just Want All Of This To End"
Ok.
What is it with people? Why the FUCK can't they say feelings and express thoes feelings? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ONE OF THE OTHER!?
Fuck some things I really will NEVER understand...=( *Sigh*
"When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, “I miss you son. Come homeâ€
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was mine
The love I’d wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told you so’s
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you"[Relient K - I So Hate Consequences]
Sooo today was pretty average.
Math: Me & Marina got all of are work but 1 question done and were gunna finish it tomorrow.
Gym: Played Dodge Ball [Stupid Mr. Hoeffs Seperated me, Noelle & Kaitlyn, and Made Noelle Go On The Other Time] So me and Kaitlyn just got Noelle out alot lol
Relient K - Who I Am Hates Who I've Bee
Lunch: Sat under the staris talked, that was about it.
English: Read FFA by myself and got up to report 15 seeing as I forgot my ISU book lol.
Home Studies: Best class all fucking day! Me and Matt were laughing non stop and it was sad because we didn't know what was soo funny, and the suply thought we were on drugs, And then after school we couldn't remember what we found so funny...It was teh best!
Soo I was talking to Noelle and Kaitlyn in gym about someone, and they were bring up points about things that I've never really thoguht of... But the thing is,
Relient K - Mood Rings
I don't know if they were saying it because i'm their friend, or because they really don't like him... I really wish they would just get along with him, I don't know, It's werid, Kaitlyn said one thing that was stuck in my head all fucking day "I see what he does to you in the halls! He sees you, looks down and turns the fucking corner! If he soposidly loves you so much why can't he say hi or even fucking wave? Er I fucking hate him he treats you like shit." then Noelle perked up and said "She's right Heather, He's an ass hole." Gah! Are they both right? more importantly is Kaitlyn right about the "If he soposidly loves you so much why can't he say hi or even fucking wave?" thing? I don't know, I'm so afraid that i'm blinded by the love I have for him that I'm not seeing what everyone else is seeing. But that can go both ways,
Relient K - Let It All Out
They don't know how he's like when he talks to me. They don't know how when he says one thing, And I just know he's telling me the truth. They Just Don't Know Him. I wish they'd give him a chance... He's probally going to read this, or someone might read this and figure something out But I don't fucking care anymore. I'm tired of pretending. I love him, I really do Love him. He says he loves me, And I really believe it, why else would he have put up with me for this long? if Kaitlyn reads this she'd being saying "because your his booty call" but she's wrong. I just know she is, not all guys are complete ass holes, and people can change. I don't know, Maybe i'm just fucked up, Oh....Who cares anymore...Gah!, why is being a teenager in love soo fucking hard to deal with? God this entry is turing very emo>.< =S...
"reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for you
and I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light"[Relient K - Let It All Out]
Relient K - Be My Escape
God, I really wish love was as easy as the made it seem in the old movies... and I know it sounds stupid but I wish that I had and could feel that love that was showed in the "Moulin Rouge" Like "Satine" was willing to throw away everything she had worked for and everything she had wanted just for "Christian", That's real fucking love...*Sigh*=( Maybe It's Out There.
"The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn Is Just To Love And Be Loved In Return."-The Moulin Rouge.
"I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You win
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You"[Relient K - Be My Escape]
No. I know that it's out there. And i'm not giving up on him just yet.
Tom Petty - Last Dance With Mary Jane
"You Just Keep Ripping My Heart Out, I'll Keep Sewing It Back Together With The Thought Of You Laced In The Stich. I'll Keep Sewing It Untill My Hands Are Cut Off And Left In A Ditch"[part of my poem called: Just Can't Get Over You & I Won't Get Over You. - Heather Milling.]
My Poems are fucked... But I love em=p
Cradle Of Filth - Hallowed By Thy Name
Well. I still have to finish my home work. But I now have a craving to watch The Moulin Rouge ohh I love that movie.=)
Well i'll get to watching that now lol=)
Stay Chemical!
So For Now...
~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~
P.s... Vampire Freaks Rox My Sox!
P.p.s...Hollie FUCK This Is A Long Entry, And It's About To Get Longer...I've Decided To Post 4 Of My Poems...Please Tell Me What You Think=)
Broken. - Heather Milling
She Wishes She Could Spred Her Wings And Fly.
But She's broken.
Her friends tell her it will be okay.
She just wishes the pain would go away.
She feels so broken.
He broke her heart.
He broke her wings.
He moved on and left her.
Broken.
She sees his new love.
She crys into her gloves.
She's happy and calm,
On the outside.
Inside, She's broken.
No one knows how she feels.
No one really understands.
She's Broken.
Will it be like this forever?
Never, It can't be like this,
Can It?
She walks on.
Broken.
Broken Toy - Heather Milling
He played me like a toy.
We brought each other joy.
He promised to never break me.
What a lie.
Broken Toy.
Something happend to us.
A newer model tore us apart.
He wanted something new.
I just wouldn't do.
Broken Toy.
He made a plan.
Followed through.
Break my heart.
For something new.
Broken Toy.
He broke my heart.
He took my joy.
All this for a newer toy.
Broken Toy.
Alone I sit.
Sharttered heart.
He doesn't care.
I was just his toy.
Tears Of Goodbye - Heather Milling
I walk a lie.
I always cry.
He's gone now.
Tears Of Goodbye.
Why did he lie?
Why didn't he say goodbye?
Why did he hurt me all those times?
Tears Of Goodbye.
Scars fade.
Cuts heal,
On the outside.
Inside, The cuts are fresh, Blood still pours,
And the scars never fade.
My smile has gone away.
Tears Of Goodbye.
I'm dead to him.
He's alive to me.
Life is my burdden.
Love is my sin.
Tears Of Goodbye.
Dream - Heather Milling
He is perfect.
He loves me.
It feels so real.
But it's not.
Dream.
We laugh together.
We are together.
But we're not.
It's just a Dream.
Love or lust?
Like it or not,
He isn't real.
It's all a Dream.
Dare to dream?
Scared to fly.
Afraid to die.
Dream.
Realitly is better then a dream?
No, Dreaming is better then reality.
Because then we're together.
Then, he loves me.
I'll dream on, forever.Dream
&gottaluvGerard;Katie