Wow, so it's been over a year or somthing since I've written anything, so hey why not update? Well confession time, I'm really only updating this because I know he won't read this and this is a place where I'm going to be able to finally get shit off my chest. *sigh* Okay so updates...ummm? alot really but i'll get into that later. this is my problem that has led me to the update: Is it to much too ask that I want to be wanted? Or that I want you to show that you care? Or that I would love to be treated like a queen? No, forget that I want to be treated like the way girls are in the movies. I wish life were like the movie, I know I've said it about a thousand times and I'll keep saying it because the movies have one great thing that reailtly doesn't: "Movie Magic" It's true! No matter how bad the outcome good wins, the guy gets his girl and the girl gets her "Happily ever after" Well, where's my "Happily ever after"? Just once, I'd like him to do something romantic with out me droping the hints. Like just once I'd love to hear "Hey, get ready were going out" or for him to take me to the amusment park and win me a giant prize. Or one, just once him to see me after work. Or to come see me when I'm down. Now I'm sure this sounds alot worse then it is, or maybe im just in a stae of denile whatever I don't know about anything anymore, I'm so confused about everything in my life right now. Just when I finally thought I had everything back in place, I find myslef back at the end of my rope, and sombodys kicked the chair out from underneath me. I don't even know if I should make this public or private or just make this whole Diary only for people I have on my friends list. That way he coudn't see this, but maybe I want him to see it, maybe he'll wake up and relize that I'm not going to stay if I dont feel like I'm even worth your time. But then again.... Isn't that just yet another hint?