k...so I wrote back, "Just insuring my new car, you?" Him: "I wasn't...insured...something or other...Wanna hang out sometime?" Me: flabbergastedly writes: "not sure" He: gives me the thumbs up, nods, and writes, "ok" Then goes and sits back down... few minutes later he gets up and leaves. Weird? lol...it was funny. And a lot has happened since then...So... I just realized I like this guy, but he doesn't like me enough back. Which is a good thing. Then nothing can happen and I can't get my heart hurt...which of course was amputated cuz the best cure for gangrene on the heart is amputation...thank heavens. Oh! I kissed a boy back and now someone is mad at me...see private for further explaination. I hate politics and guys. I really wasn't planning it. He just...well...it was the situation. I guess I have to take responsibility, cuz I'm the older one. I hope he's ok. I just wish he wouldn't have...Still good guy, just caused problems. I can't let go. This is going to kill me. Moving away from the men I fell in love with...the men I've been intimate with. I'm gonna die. Sara will laugh at me the whole time and hit me along side the head...but I hurt something aweful. Good thing it's not visible on the outside...hehe. Have you ever felt that no matter what you do, it's not going to change anything? Well I'm stuck in Limbo...except I'm going to Hell...sure of it. Why not just give in? cuz there are still a few ppl who I care about what they think of me...*sighs* I just don't know how much longer I can hold out. It's like I'm dark and evil, but only on the inside. Does that mean I'm lying to everyone? Oh joyful! I appologize to all that I may have offended in the past. I will work hard to right any wrongs. I just don't know how much I can do for anything. I'm a wimp and will try to back out of everything. *smiles* At least I admit it. love, Natalie M.