Well...I'm not sure what I'm thinking. There is a lot to think about. I know what I want, now I have to stick with it. I don't want to hurt others though. I'm a orrible person. It is a compliment, but there are too many boys that like me right now. I don't know how much they like me, but really...I dunno what to think. Two Christophers and a Robert...who do I like? One Christopher and a Robert...ugh...but Robie isn't mormon...that should keep me from wandering to think about him...does it? I dunno what to think. I just don't want to let go. I really like Chris, but Robie is so neat. What do I want? When will I get it? Maybe I should just run away and hide from them all. I enjoy talking to the second Chris, he makes me feel good about myself. He doesn't mind that I'm a retard either...so...I dunno. I use to like him, but then he went with Diana and I went with Nathan...oh well...Maybe I'll like him again, someday. Never know...that would really mess things up though...*sighs* I need to be hit in the head. Joe called me...why? I have no idea...I'm worried. I don't want to talk to him, but I do. I can't help myself. There will always be that dark side to me... Ryker's birthday...I forgot it...I have a present for him. I should bring it over there someday...but I feel stupid, cuz I wasn't invited to his party. I need to just let go! Dang it...I hate emotions...and the lack there of...and all of it. The things I did in WY...made me not feel things. Now I feel things. Now I feel everything...I don't want to...I could be happy emotionless the rest of my life. I don't want to deal with the drama of human life. *sighs* oh well... On a better note...a week and a half and I'm 19...not that it does me much good...lol...but I also get to go home...that is happiness.