i don't want to be here anymore.all i do is hurt everyone around me.i'm such a failure.all these good opprotunities get placed in front of me and i always fuck them up.i hurt too much now to go on.my plan is to fall asleep and not wake up.my first attempt failed when i opened my eyes this morning.the inside of me is mostly dead now.the few emotions i have left only make it worse.it can't get any worse i won't let it.i will not fail again.i can not fail again.only time will tell when.this is not a entry for, for pity,no these are the last words of a dying man.i can't bear the thought of hurting anyone else.not like before.i never wanted it to be this way but i couldn't look past my own childishness to prevent it.i will pay for what i have done.i already have more than anyone will know.this life just isn't the place for me.i'm so alone now.the tears never stop.and yes,there are people that love me,but seeing love get thrown around so carelessly has shown me that love isn't as strong as i thought.And even though only one person,one person has ever taken the time to get to know me for me,at least this way i'll always be remebered.to all that hold a place in my heart...i love you.