Wow.it’s every ones first day of school.my stomach hurts.it’s very bad.all knots and what not.at this very point (6:55) I have no purpose.i mean I always had school but not now.hopefully once again though if I can get shit straightened out.im so alone right now.veronica is coming over hopefully.if she still wants to.oh and this isn’t a pity party either it’s a I-have-nothing-and-probably-won’t-for-a-while-party. to anyone who never reads this. Is it weird that I want to go eat lunch with her at school? I just thought it would be fun.dosen’t look I’m going to get to.I’ve changed everything about my life, shit just gets worse. always.worse.it seems better for like 20 minutes and then it turns over and starts at zero again.it’s starting to numb me.i don’t like that.i like different emotions.it’s what I will always have to myself.that and never ending hurt!no,the hurt goes away.but iguess i still have her.i mean she still has me.forever.it's acttualy not that long,forever i mean.quitting smoking is really hard.i’m freaking out man!yeah,but I get to live longer….and see stuff…and stuff..whatever.fuck this is so hard.everything.suicide.genocide.pesticide. choose your weapon.um I’ll take a 357 slug to the mouth BOB.i got a bit of excitement in my life.whew!we have three shows booked in a row and might tour Indie!fuk yeah!ah yes,the band does bring joy to my heart.i’m going to go insane.i fucking swear.i need sleep.food.love…a life.Veronica…maybe one day.but now.just for that reason.i think about him a lot.he may not know it but I feel for him.god...fuck the idea.church will be fun tonight.i need a ride any takers? Oh well, sleep time.oh and I really do like that name….makes me go..hun huh