i fucking hate the people in this world.all of them.i just can't get a brake.i always feel like a secret.one big hidden problem.she never writes about me or to me anymore.i can understand if she'd get shit for it.i think thats shitty.i'd rather talk to her face to face.it was starting out to be such a good fucking day.i hate the internet.i'm always in a good mood,get on here,surf,get off and want to die.it's my fault.no one said i had to look at this shit.i guess i just hope to see some truth.some understanding of whats going on.it always makes it worse.i think we might go out tonight.i'm excited.she said she is going to sleep in and stay home for church.in all honesty i don't belive her.she always says that or atleast has been.something will happen.always does.she'll leave.maybe not.i don't care.if she stays home she's "safe".if she leaves and gets caught then she'll deal.if she dosen't and makes it back what can i do but deal.it's not that big of a deal.i guess.i just don't want there to be added problems that can easily be avoided.it's not much different then what i was trying to do the other night.i saw something in her eyes last night.there was a moment and for a whole two minutes nothing mattered.there was a glimpse of some sort of a connection or something.i can't really explain it.i don't even know if it was just me.it made my night.the show sucked.we didn't.we rocked musically i think.there were just cops and an absense of a good crowd,a late playing time and a shortened set.but whatever,they keep asking us to come back.a shout out to a common question for being kickass with support.well i'm going to kick a fag.