Well. I never thought that going back to the cemetery would help me feel a little better. I suppose it's because sitting by the grave and knowing that my granddad was six feet underneath me really helped me come to terms with reality. I also don't feel like breaking out into tears every 3 minutes. Of course I'm still incredibly sad, but it's just not so...intense? Yea, I guess that's the word I'm looking for. So now I have to deal with hanging out at my grandparents' house without having my granddad around. Now that is mighty strange. It's like playing a game of "What's missing?", all the while stumbling upon the clues pointing towards the answer to that question: His bottles of medicine, his clothes in the closet, his pictures, his bedroom, his shaver, his house...His house, his house, his house. Being in it with a bunch of other people without his presence just doesn't seem right. I miss him so much. I can only imagine how my grandmother must feel. I'm afraid that my depression might rub off on other people who try to cheer me up. Or worse, it might make them feel impatient with me. And I keep needing to remind myself that going through this doesn't give me an excuse to be snappy or rude. I've always had a history of letting my mouth run off without thinking first, though, so I guess it'd be hard for anyone to feel sympathetic towards me if I were to do that. Oh well anyway. Let's try not to be so depressing, shall we? The Nets are only one win away from advancing to the Eastern Conference Finals. This brings me joy :D Kenyon Martin scored 25 points in their last game. 25 points, dude! I supported the Lakers last year, but if they both go to the NBA finals again this year, I'm counting on the Nets to beat Laker ass :) It's amazing that when Azzi goes out of town, even for a short time, I can actually almost physically feel that he's not around. Does that sound overly-dramatic? Oh well whatever. I'm going to go take a nap.