dearest rach- there are no words to describe how worried and sick i feel right now. everything that could go wrong is running through my head at the highest velocity possible. i cant help but think that if you're hurt then it's my fault. horrible things wont stop harassing my eyes; your father doing something again, you hurting yourself to the point of no return, someone else harming you. its becoming unbearable. i dont know what i would do if i lost you, my dearest dearest rachael. i love you so much; you have absolutely no idea how much i care for you. i feel like we're connected somehow. like we were meant to met and help each other. these minutes wont go by quick enough so that i can run home and get on msn to hopefully see you on there and be reassured that you, my darling rachael, my sister, my better half, are ok. i would be dead without you. i cannot stand the thought of losing you. i cant bear to even think of that because i fear that i will break down and cry until i cant cry anymore. i cant lose you, too. no, not you. you're too important to me. i've already lost someone important to me, but they aren't nearly as important to you. i'm praying to a false god that i've never believed in that nothing is wrong and that you're just in one of those moods where you say things that you dont mean. oh my god rachael, im dying right now not knowing whats going on with you. i swear that i would do anything to help you! i would sell drugs, i would steal, i would sell myself to drunk men on the streets, i would kill to help you and make sure that you were ok. if you need to get away from there, i will work anyway possible until i have enough money to fly you over here, just to make sure that you are safe and ok. i would die for you rachael. i love you so much. god, i hope that you are ok. . .please tell me that you are ok and that nothing has happened to you. please, just leave me at least one word telling me that you're ok. please, oh god, please let you be ok. . . i love you more than any words can say chelsea