When the rain comes it seems that everyone has gone away When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't find someplace To run and hide Escape the pain But hiding's such a lonely thing to do I can't stop the rain From falling down on you again I can't stop the rain But I will hold you 'til it goes away When the rain comes you blame it on the things that you have done When the storm fades you know that rain must fall on everyone Rest awhile It'll be alright No one loves you like I do When the rain comes I will hold you ********************************************* this week has been very emotional and difficult to bare. i've been thinking a lot about eldon, and i know i can't change it and i know it's happened for a reason and i thank God for that...it's still been tugging pretty hard at my heart this week though. lots of crying and yearning for the unreachable. i wish i could have been there yesterday for see you at the pole. daniel went to the middle and high school with his guitar and they had worship songs and testimonies and just some awesome fellowship yesterday morning. i can't express how much i longed to just be standing there next to heather and taking part in that. it hurts. it hurts that i can't be there for them every time something major happens in their lives. it hurts that i don't think i have time to call and talk to them because i'm not getting enough sleep as it is. the only thing holding me back from being mad is that i know it's God's will. it's SO hard not being able to see mykel every week. when i'm with him in eldon it feels like everything is perfect. all my cares go away and i'm so happy...until the day i know i have to come back. then i have to readjust and rely on my coping mechanisms - stress out and put more focus on homework and school so i don't have to think about the fact that it might be 2 weeks before i get to see mykel again. or that it'll be another month until i get to see my friends and eldon. but this week it didn't work, i wasn't able to fill the gap with school. it keeps getting harder and harder. i just need to stay close to God and rely on his strength instead of my own. i was hoping more than anything that mykel could come up this weekend..of course i always get my hopes up before i know if he can or not for sure. it's just natural. and considering the week i've had emotionally i thought i really needed him here. but God knows otherwise and i'm not one to argue with Him. so maybe next weekend.