hmm this probably sounds a bit pathetic, but i've just been re-reading loads of the emails in my inbox & ones from caroline from last year & they make me so happy i cry, she's been such a great friend & always there for me, i really don't deserve it but i am truly grateful. She's a gift from God & i really do love her. Theres some nice ones from becky too but i don't want to dwell on them cos its just painful to see what a great friendship we had before & don't have now. I'm very emotional at the moment, but happy memories making you cry is a better thing than crying cos of bad things aint it?!? ahh well i shall go count my blessings & be thankful to God, its hard to openly be thankful to the person i find.