Sidney apologized. Ever since I sent that e-mail I've been hoping he would, but now I ish he hadn't. I just got done crying for about an hour and talking to Jordana about what I should do, and I think I'm gonna start crying again. Why does he have this big of an impact on me? A guy that turned into an asswhole and treated me like shit for a whole year shouldn't have this big of an effect on me anymore. I don't know what to do. I want to forgive him, give him just one more chance, but I'm not sure if I should. Jordan says I should just forget about him.... But it's not that simple. In seventh grade I thought of him as my best friend, how am I supposed to just forget about that? Jess thinks that I should give him one more chance and if he does it again I should kick him in the balls.... Which I definitely want to do. I have a feeling that if he fucks with my head again she's gonna end up kicking him in the balls, which would be a lot of fun to watch. I think I'm gonna give him another chance... but I just don't know. I know I probably shouldn't, but... I always thought that Sid and I would be friends for life. Naive, I know, but he used to be so cool.... I wonder if he'll read this. If he does.... Sidney, I lied in the e-mail. I did mean it when I said I wanted you to die. I just wish I hadn't. Anyway. On a happier note. Carol's having a movie night tomorrow! Yay! I'm probably gonna be able to come, but not for sure. It sounds like a lot of fun! I miss hanging out with people. It's strange. I feel a lot more mature ever since Kyle and I started making out :P I don't know why.... Anyway. I'm finished. Bye. *** I miss the Steller dances! :( I've been listening to Time Warp a lot lately because I wanna go back to school! I can't wait 'til school starts, especially if Sidney and I start hanging out again.... I just hope I can see the old him again. Anyway, enough about Sid. Pamela left! And Scott's still there! Agh! This sucks. All the good teachers are leaving. If Philip leaves, I swear I'm gonna shoot myself in the head, he's the last awesome teacher. *Sigh* I miss Doug. Doug was awesome. He was a good counselor and teacher. Why can't he come back? Damn him and his Switzerland-ness. I need to call Kyle and Carol.... But I hate phones :( Why can't they just both get online? That would be a lot easier. Okay, I'm gonna go now. Tata.