I feel the shittiest I've felt in a long time. So much for my cheery disposition. Okay, good stuff first. Baliegh called today. We talked for about an hour. She told me about her breakup with Josh, and I told her about my breakup with Kyle. It was nice to talk to someone who understood what you were going through. It's strange. Baliegh and I have talked once (before today) in the past year, and yet she called me up and we had absolutely no problem with talking to each other. We were still so comfortable telling each other things. Mom, Dad and I drove to Palmer and ate at the Colony Kitchen, and then we drove around for a while. It was nice to get out of the house. I wanna call Sandra, but, I'm kinda scared. A while ago Tiffany IM'd me when I was offline and asked me if I heard what happened to Sandra. It scared me. I haven't talked to either (or seen either) since she IM'd me. Okay, here's where the title kicks in. I went on Sims Online today for the first time in about three months. It really depressed me because it reminded me of Steve and Nicki, the backstabbing bitches.... I hate it when friends you thought you could trust turn on you. I mean, Steve and I were friends for about a year, and he was SO COOL, and I felt more comfortable talking to him than anyone else, and he completely turns into a shitty person. Then, when I was already upset from that, I accidentally went to my Xanga diary, which is where I posted the letters Sid and I sent over the summer. That made it even worse. I get depressed every time I even think about those letters. I need to talk to Jordan, very badly, but he isn't online. Argh. If there were ever a time I would start cutting, it would be tonight. P.S. God, I can't even stand to read Carol's diary anymore because so many of her entries are about her cutting herself.... I don't want to think about her doing that to herself, not someone as cheerful and happy as her.... *** Goddammit, all I ever wanted was to be happy and have GOOD FRIENDS, is that so fucking much to ask?