Yesterday, I was waiting to go to the fair all fucking day and when i finally went Julian just had to mess it up! Gees!!! First he didnt even want to go cause he knew I was gonna meet my friends and at the last minute him and my other friend Melissa were like "get ready we're coming to get you." First of all, I didnt really wanna go with them cause all they wanted to do was eat and I wanted to ride the rides! Yeah so when we get there, I was already pissed and i wasnt in a good mood! So we're walking though the fair and they so leave me behind, like i was walking by myself! I felt like a lost puppy! It was terrible and julian was like " are you gonna be happy when you see your friends"...DUH! of course I was, it was gonna be so much better then walking around with them. They were like attached at the fucking hip all night, I felt like the 3rd wheel and They arent even together! Like the entire time I was with them i wanted to cry so hard but i didnt want to let them know how i was feeling. We finally met up with Ivy, Adriana, and her LOVER! he he! Then we were riding rides. But i only got on like 3. But towards the end Julian and Melis were really just getting on my nerves. I some how pissed him off and he left me and what do you know...Melis went with him. I felt kinda bad cause I just kinda dumped myself on Adriana and Ivy but I didnt have a ride home. MY aunt and my cousins where there so I had a ride home but still...MY "FRIENDS" DITCHED ME!" When I got home I felt like shit and i wanted to crawl in a hole and die...its not like anyone would care! I felt so betrayed, I mean they didnt even care. No one did! it sucked so bad. Right now I dont know what my deal is. I'm just hating everything that is going on in my life right now. MY little circle of friends is falling apart. kel and melis arent talking, Melis and Manny broke up (they've were together 7 yrs) ME and Julian arent talking! it sucks, knowing me and Julain we will be talkng by this afternoon but Its just stupid. Sometimes, I just want to end it, I really do, but i dont have the guts. It's just that everything is going wrong in my life now, I dont know what to do! Sometimes I just want to cry and scream and let it all out but i dont. I have no one to talk to, no one that cares and the people that I think i can talk to talk shit! "Whatever Sarah, Your just doing it for the attention" , "you just want people to feel sorry for you." Its not like that, Its not like that at all. They just dont understand. I may see fine on it the outside but inside I'm just dying! HELP ME!