And once again another day goe by. Another wasted day. I fill like all of them are like that now. I do nothing I learn nothing and I am tired of training people to do a job that I dont even like doing myself. I just wanna be home. I am on day 3 of my diet and now its all easy but thats how it goes for me just need to make it a habbit and it sticks fast. I found out the best way to sleep is for me to just beat myself in the gym at least then I am to exausted to think about anything. So now I wait I cant even get her to email me now at all. It drives me crazy but there is nothing that I can do at a distance and that I think is what makes it easy for her to do it. I wish she truly knew how mush it tares me appart but then again maybe thats why she is like that. There is now so much planing that needs to take place but at this point with her not talking there is nothing that can get done so even if unknowingly she is just makeing thigs harder for the both of us. Well I get to talk to my CO soon and I am going to bring up me getting the hell out of here. I have my new orders and need to get ready to go. I have school so I will actually be in the states for a little while which will be nice. But then again if I cant start talking to blair to get things set up she will be stuck here on her own but I dont think she cares atm. I really hate fighting I like just giveing in but she make that impossable but when I get home things are going to change. I think a lot for the good though I am sure she wont see it that way at first. Like that dame game and messangers. Hell I dont know if I even want the internet in my home anymore. its nothing but a distraction that I dont need. I mean I can understand doing some things from time to time but always being on there is not good. Even though I know I did it myself for so long. Its time for us to get up gett out and do something. Oh well thats enough ranting lol