yep made the biggest mistake of my life last night and i'm seriously kicking myself really hard in the ass for it. i think back to last night and i dont even know who that was talking to him. saying all those things, what the fuck was i thinking? most of the shit i said was either not true or we could have worked it out and he wanted to. he said i will try to change and help work things out. why didnt i just do that? i want to go back last night sooo badly and do everything all over. i miss him soo damn much i cant even stand it. this is the guy that i thought i'd spend the rest of my life with. the guy i've been with for almost a year. the guy i love more than anything in this world. the guy i would do anything for. i went over there, trying to decide what i should say. all i had in mind was to break up with him. all he wanted was to work it all out. oh god i'm so stupid. i want to do last night all over again, to not end with him walking out of my life. yea he told me he would give me a second chance and yea he and his last gf did this about a million times but this is a mistake. i want him back in my life right now. hes at work and i cant wait for him to get home so i can call him and apologize and ask him if we can try again. last night i said like a week or two. its been barely a day but i cant help it. i didnt go to class today and i'm not going to work so i can be able to call him when he gets off work cuz otherwise, i am a mess. i have never cried more in my life. i'm not even close to kidding. i cried so much my head was killing me, my eyes were killing me, my throat, everything. i just want him to call me right now and be like guess what, i want u back. i guarentte i'll cry on the phone when i talk to him, which i pray he goes straight home after work and i also pray no one is online cuz i really need to talk to him. or no one is on the phone. i'm just really scared he wants to be on a break too. that'll seriously kill me...even more then it already does. i just pray that it gets worked out today, cuz otherwise, nothing in my life will matter. i will want to do nothing. nothing will be fun. nothing...will matter. and i'll be stuck with a broken heart that i caused myself.