my brother and my mom just got back from Israel today. my brother....he is completely different then how he used to be. lets just say he is excited about church and God and thats just weird cuz he was never like that. i'm jealous. i wish i would have went. i want what he has. the drive, the want, the need to be closer to God. i want that. i'm so going next time. i cant wait till they plan to make another trip there. sign me up now. besides that, nothing new. i got trashed on saturday night for my friend's birthday. it was a lot of fun...altho i do sort of regret it. i mean yea drinking is fun but...i dont know. i'm honestly a little confused right now. my brother who is 15 makes me very immature. he has seriously matured so much in the last 10 days or whatever it was. its amazing and i'm soo proud of him. i want that tho. i WANT to know about God and i WANT to be closer to him. i want all those things that my brother has. maybe i should get my mind set into it more. i dont know but something has to change. temptation sucks tho. all these things in life that are soo much fun but really bad that i dont need to do basically fall into my life all the time. example, saturday night. i shouldnt have went or i could have controlled myself..but i didnt. not to say that if i become a better christan i wont make mistakes. of course i will. i'm human. and even tho my brother is changed he still smokes. he just makes me feel so young. i cant even explain it. i cant wait to go. i really seriously cant. I Love Brandon.