My parents left to Nebraska today..hopefully they hate the place. I seriously don't want to move there. I really want to move to Minnesota..but I doubt it will happen. Madison also gave my dad an offer..Elizabeth says all the guys in Madison know who I am and they all "have the hots" for me. Well..at least the hmong ones. I'm getting tired of moving though. Because of my dad's dream I've had to sacrifice everything..for him. He claims he's trying to give us a better life..a better one than he had..but all I want is to be with my family and with my friends..I'm tired of always making new ones..and I'm tired of always not knowing where or who I'm with. Maybe I should stop being so selfish..but I'm speaking the truth. If my parents gave me the option of moving back to California with my grandparents or cousins I would totally move. I guess when it comes down to it, Clovis California is my true home. I've realized..I frown alot. I mean to people I'm always smiling and "happy" but..I always seem to catch myself frowning inside. Its like.."what the hell is there to smile about?" I haven't heard from Ted for a couple days now. My mom sent the birthday card i got for him yesterday..hopefully he gets it soon. He really made my trip to Minnesota fun, and I miss hanging out with him. Him and his sarcastic ways..and him and his infectious "Come On nOW!" :) I guess when I'm around him I just smile..real smiles. Not fake ones. He really makes me happy and he...he's someone I want to find out more about. I guess some people look for acceptence form others...I just look for love. I mean..I know my closest friends love me..but sometimes I wonder about my parents. I mean..isn't basic knowledge that your parents must love you? and that's what I feel like. My parents feel like the HAVE to love me..just because I'm their daughter. Well..for me I don't seek acceptence..I seek love. And not Love like falling inlove..I mean love like a parents love for their eldest daughter..I mean sometimes people do need to be reminded that they are loved...that they are needed..and that they are appreciated. I know I just sound like a brat just looking for attention..but its the honest truth. So..I'm sitting here..thinking about what else i should write about and I guess what's coming to my head right now is my anger problem. Sometimes..when I get angry..I do things..that are out of my nature. I say horrible things and I do horrible things. I'm so abusive...physically and emotionally towards those around me. I say, write, and do things that hurt them so much...and I enjoy it..There is seriously something wrong with me. I need..help? Here's a picture of Ted (In the gray) and David (In the red)