Joann says that whenever I laugh, it sounds fake. Not like she's trying to say that I'm covering up things, but more like it seems like I have a fake laugh..like I'm a fake person. So I began to think about it, and realized maybe its because laughing keeps my mind off of sad things. But whatever.. So lately, I've been talking to Elizabeth B. and Julia and they found out that I have no life. LOL. they want me to do weed with them, since I never done it before. (Don't be so shocked people). I just never needed weed before. I still don't. I deal with my problems a different way..and I'm just a naturally happy person. I mean literally, I get naturally high. lol CONTINUATION SO I'm sitting here looking at houses for sale in Clovis..and its so weird to imagine myself living there. I love my family..no matter what they're always going to be there for me..but its been 8 years. EIGHT WHOLE YEARS where I wasn't in the picture. I mean I still see them as the 6 year olds they were when I left, and now they're all grown..with a different personality and a different life. So its like I'm intruding into something I shouldn't be in. But on the other hand I can't be here anymore. There's just too many bad memories to remember when I see something or someone. So, here I am stuck..unwilling to stay here but hesitant to move on. ♥EM