For me..I realized..that I push away at great chances..with things and with people. I can't bare the though of getting to know them starting to really care for them and then in the end lose them. Because I always lose in the end. And I can't bare losing someone else who was that important to me. I was chatting YongakaZong this morning..and he's a real cool guy..and real funny. And I'm trying to help him out with his girl problems..like he has any..gees. The guy is just to freakin' scared to call the girl and is always making excuses for not calling her. Which really bugs me..then when we talk my guy issues..he says I need to find a REAL guy like him and then I remind him that he's 17 almost going to be 18. And he knows that..he means someone like him around my age..the thing is every guy that I talk about he goes "Oh he's MTT" "Oh he's not good enough" "Oh...blah blah blah" And like I get so frustrated because he turns down every guy I bring up. Its like 'Why don't YOU go find me a guy who meets all your standards..' and then I realize..Yong isn't the person who should be choosing my boyfriends..I should be choosing my boyfriends and it doesn't matter what Yong thinks..So..yeah. Other than that..Eliz is in town and I'm hoping she can get permission to go to the state fair with us today! But yeah I better go get ready. BYE!