yesterday when i came back 2 my house, i was feeling ugly, and i dont know, nnot ugly outside, but inside, i hated my life so bad, i really needed benji but as usual he wasnt on, and i wanted to cut so bad, but i told benji i wouldnt, so i just turned off the lights in my room and put hold on, by GC, and lie on my bed, and i started scratching my skin slowly with my finger nails, but i didnt cut, i just scratched slowly, 'till the music (joel) calmed me, ohhhh. and i wrote and let all out. i need some help really, i need benji really, i dun know what 2 do. i need 2 talk to him, if i dont see him this week, i'll cut, really, but ill try 2 keep the promise up. ahhh, i wanna scream... anyways, im going 2 the movies with my aunt and my cousin, now so i g2g, and ill buy the smile empty soul cd, yai!! well bye, thats all...