well, i havent write a lot lately, but its just that i just havent feel very normal, well not normal, but just emotionally unstable. im so tired of school, and school, and fuck shit! i decided that im gonna keep acting like its all cool and ok, in front of my "friends" and familly, and just keep the shitty feelings for me, cuz im sick of everyone (my mom specially) acting like if i was a fucking depressed freak. I havent cut for a long time now, and thats cool for me. By the other hand i decided that my love life, well i actually dont have one, but fuck i feel so lonely, but i dont wanna meet anyone either, cuz i really believe and know that (i hate to say it) benji was THE person 4 me, and to have him gone 4 so fucking long, made me see, that maybe im just shit and that i can b loved by no one, so im just gonna continue living my own hell. Im gonna watch the shinning tonite, and it fucking sucks cuz its benji's favorite movie, and listening to slipknot hurts me too, cuz its benji's fav band. IM PATHETIC PPL, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANNA CRY.... (leave a comment)