Wow I feel really ambivalent if you cant tell. I feel great because Rikki and I well lets just say we had a good day yesterday. I feel horrible because well I told Rikki that my I was skipping Black Label to be with her on her birthday, but my mom bought the tickets anyway, and now I have to go so I feel like such a liar, I love her soo much she is my fucking fiancee and well I wont even be there for her birthday. I am a horrible person. I'm so upset about it. My heart is heavy with guilt, she owns my heart and everything I am hers, but, I, cant even be there on her birthday, after I said I would. I love you Rikki, I'm sorry.