Alright if none of you remember me from a long time ago then thats fine... because its not like i have been here very often for the past year... or almost a year. to recap... i was in a long distance relationship for over 2 years... and that ended a while ago because i thought that i wanted a relationship where i could see the person everyday and see and spend time with.... it took awhile to make the transaction. i was so confused about what i was doing.... and i should have listened to my heart. but i honestly admit that what i did was a mistake. but what i got out if it is nothing more than a beautiful miracle... and her name is Trinity Amerose. She is now 2 and 1/2 months. mixed filipino and white. I will post pictures later. born on June 29th. So in a way i cant say i completely regret what i did. i am currently talking to my ex boyfriend... conrad. i told him what had happened. because the whole time that we were not "together" - in a relationship... i was so depressed and upset and still so completely in love with him... i let go the one true thing... my one true love. yes, i love trinity's father... but im not in love with him... "j" i told conrad i still loved him... which i probably shouldnt have done... but right now i am unhappy. "J" and I always fight... I am not happy and i, yet again, am worried about his feelings rather than act upon my own. conrad wants me to see him... witht he baby, who he calls his own... and would accept her as his daughter if we got back together... i am in another situation where i know what i want to do... but im scared and confused... i feel like the only parent anyway... i barely get any help. i know... do what makes me happy. right? sounds easy.... so barely any of the people i considered friends know... only a few... because you know with certain situations who you would believe to be a true friend and who is there just to critisize you and judge you... i know my spelling is off tonight... oh well. i could go into more depth but its getting late... until next time... later