I can't even take life anymore. Everyday is getting harder and harder to make through. Nothing seems to be going right at all. I just don't know what to do. My family has nothing but problems. My mom can't work. My grandma broke her leg. Everybody's poor. We have no money at all. My sister is pretty much completely out of control. Then I had this English essay due today and one part of teh topic was "How does one survive in a world they cannot understand over which they have no control?" I just sat back and thought wow....that's me. I have no control over my family situation at all and it really sucks. At least my mom isn't quite as crazy anymore, thank God for that. My friends situation is completely out of control too. I don't even know who to trust anymore. I always thougth I picked damn good friends, but I really don't know anymore. I'm definately losing my best friend and I hate it. I can't even stand the way he acts anymore, when other people are aorund. When no one else is there everything is great, but as soon as someone else shows up everything changes. I can tell we're growing apart and as much as I try to not let him know, it's fucking killing me. I mean sure I act pissed, but that's only because I don't know what else to do. I don't know what to do with any of my other friends either. They're all just...I don't even know. I don't know who to even trust, it's crazy. I gotta figure all this out because my friends seriously equal my life. If I didn't have them I'd probably be dead right now. I feel so incredibly alone and alienated right now. Everything is spinning out of control and I don't know how to make it better again. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this.