Something happend and I've become depressed. Something weird like a sudden change... I have hurt someone by trying to help them... Basically meaning that I suck. I can't make good grades cause I don't put in the effort that I should be putting into my work. I don't know but I don't want to do what I thought I was gonna do all my life. I don't like vetrinary medicine... I find it quite boring and gross. It makes me queezy. I don't know what I want to do with my life which scares me. I want to be able to do something but what I want to do right now I'm not sure if I'll be able to accomplish that. It seems to be like I'm falling away from what I hoped. I want to do something that I will enjoy. And that has to do with Music or Film. Which are both very hard things to persue... Which is why I don't think I'll make it there. I won't make it anywhere I won't be able to do anything... It's hard to understand. Right now I just want to be able to know what I'm going to be able to do. I want to be able to do what I want. What I want to do right now doesn't require school but I must go through with it... I don't know what to do anymore my brain has collapsed under the stress. I've been put under so much pressure I feel I will collaps. Most of my teachers think I'm stupid because I don't make the best highest grades. I pass and that's what counts. I don't feel confident in myself which I wish I did. I wish I could be able to tell myself that I look good. I want to feel good around people. I also want someone that I can go to for help. Someone I can cry on and someone I can be able to relate to. I want someone to hold me and care about me more than just a friend. Apparently I am needing one of those people. My depression isn't getting any better at the moment. Just blank stares off into this stupid life of mine. I hate my life and I wish with everything I could be someone else. I'd love to go places with friends all the time. I know I do alot of the time but I'm talking about something like a fair. I'm not sure what to say right now. God some people are ass wholes... I'm not going to entertain you with my boring life right now bye bye. ~lizzy