So am I living or slowly slowly dying. I keep breaking myself apart over this one little thing. I get different signals and it confuzes me but that's ok... For now once I get this over with everything will be fine. Once this is over I'll be able to grasp it. I'll be able to take in feelings. I'll be able to do things that I have been waiting for, forever. I hope this works out because I'll fall apart if I do this again. I hate breaking myself down to make myself feel bad and worse. It hurts to make myself feel worse and worse about myself... I think I will just take some action. Maybe I just need to stop... I can' just stop the love which will stop the pain all together. I wish that's what I could do but if there's no love within me there's no will to live any longer. ~Kristina