Well I think I'm over it. I don't really feel that twinge of jealousy anymore. You know that little feeling in your stomach that feels like you've just plummeted from a tall building. I mean it's been the story of my life. All these good things keep getting taken away from me. I guess I'm just used to it now. Because when a good thing comes my way I really can't tell anymore. I'm always losing. I just get to sit back and get jealous. I guess I should just give up. I don't think anything's going to be different this year. Why would it be? I guess I'm feeling lonely today. I've been in an up and down mood all day today. Of course I still feel bad when I see them together. But I really don't think I'm jealous of them anymore. Of course I wish I had what they have but I need to realize that it isn't going to happen. I mean there must be something wrong with me or something because I'm never what anyone wants. I just want to feel love. I'm so sick of being faked. I'm so sick of the same shit happening all the time. I'm not going to expect anything different this year. My friend's have been awesome. School is really tiring. I came home and took a nap today because I was completely worn out today. I keep getting headaches and it sucks. I'm tired of talking about school. This weekend might be good. I'm going with someone to the Nickelback and Hoobastank concert on Sunday. My mom bought me an extra ticket for one of my friend's to come. Unfortunatly my friends are being losers and keep canceling on me. Hopefully I'll find someone to go with by then. Ack I hate feeling this lonely right now. It makes me have second thoughts about alot of things, which makes me do stupid things. I'm not going to do something stupid this time. I'm gonna just stop and give up on this. I'm tired of always getting my heart shoved back in my face. I'm tired of people being fakes. I've seen love die way too many times when it deserved to be alive. I've seen you cry way too many times when you deserved to be alive. ~Kristina