Today was... very very strange. Not so much strange, really, just not adhering to the normal Saturday. I arose at 7:30 to embark on mulching quest... which lasted about 3-4 hours. It was suprisingly delightful. I made new friends -- I am very pleased that I attended... even though I don't have to raise anymore money. I'm actually excited that I took pleasure in such an activity though charity. It's not really charity, I just sped up the process. It wasn't really working. I spread dirt, sang, and delighted in playful banter and mulch tossing. It was good. Then home, to scrub atleast a layer of skin off of my hands... there were atleast 3 layers thick on my hands, and it was a travesty to look at. So sad. Then... I packed. Packing... I'm very just, unmotivated. I really am unconcerned with it and I become so ADD that I just walk away. I am terrible. I know. Then... to the ROC... I only went for Helen. It's true. I don't enjoy it. It's okay, I still like Pastor G. Then... to the Mason house. It took a while. But not long before Jake and I were talking. We talk a lot. Like... a little more than two hours today, I think. I firmly believe that we talked about things that people in "relationships" are supposed to encounter and ponder over. We made decisions, came to understandings, came to more road blocks. Ten months we've suffered through some rough spots... and we are just NOW resolving them. Perhaps this holds promise for the future? I really don't know, that's up to my Heavenly Father. We talked about all of this weird stuff... like interior decorating once wedded. I tried really hard to not imply us being married when talking about that situation... "It really depends on the girl." It does, I was being honest. I think I would allow some room for suggestions... and let him have his room to do with what he wants, but it comes down to who is supporting the projects and who is needed to be kept happy. I like two incomes. I like two merged opinions. I probably would never have that with Jake. That's sad. But who knows what will happen. I really want to get married... I think all of my friends are excited about it -- I'm just ready to do it. Yay. It sounds fun. To be married -- for the rest of my life, committed, ordained by God. I hope so. I hope I have that. Marriage. Wow. I still can't believe I want that. I think, maybe, I could make it work with Jake... relationship wise, I mean... even if he is leaving. I really want to support him... and be a best friend. But it is so ridiculously hard. I don't like long distance. I think I like Jake. More than I did? It helps to talk. Especially when I don't want to... he wanted to talk, which thralls me. We were both hesitant for Erin to come over because we were in want of more speaking time. Which was sweet.