I really miss him, I do... and I'm so angry at him for being who he is... because that person isn't really in my life... he's just an idea now. And idea that exists some 4,000 miles away. I miss his smiles the way his eyes light up I miss the way his voice sounds How much I love the small cracks and changing pitches when he gets excited I miss how my whole body felt nervous and overcome by small igniting sparks every time I walked into a room and his eyes rolled over my person. I miss playing soccer with him I miss playing games chasing walking just existing in the same place our places are different now. Why does my heart tease me that our places could be the same some day? Why does it taunt me when it seems so silly? I miss dancing with him I miss the small moments of silence with him where I could close my eyes and sing if I wanted and he wouldn't think I was stupid. I want to spend my life with him, hopping from islands to countries to small cafe's for french fries and milkshakes. I want the uncertainty of him... and the certainty of God always be the center of our relationship. I want to be able to wake up and smile, thinking that he is the love of my life remember that I get to love him the way I know I do and I get to grow with him. And I could hold his hand anytime I wanted. Such hands Hands that completely cover my own within his. Perfect fit, that's what I would say. I wonder if I could ever fit him.