I think Jake is adorable. I've decided. He's just so incomparably sweet... "Next time you see me, would you run up to me?" "Why?" "Because it would make me feel nice." That was silly... I think it's mostly because I still treat him differently. He didn't get excited to see me at all. SERVES HIM RIGHT. I don't know if we exactly put our resolutions into immediate movement. Hmph. France meeting yesterday. It's real. It's sooo real. I'm going. Right before Jake left we heard the phone ringing... it was one of my relatives... asking about my france trip. More money? God is moving... and I'm not sure why in such a large amount. I'm going to wait with this money and see what I'm supposed to do... Biarritz? ... maybe to go see Jake? Rent? School? A car? God's providing and I don't know why. I want to talk to someone. Anyhow, I like just lying around in spring weather... mild, sunny weather with the sweet aroma of fresh buds and new flowers. I like the trampoline, I like watching my friends play soccer, I love company, I love no homework, I love just soaking it all up... good friends, good environment. It's everything. I wake up in the morning in love. It's great. I love how the first thoughts on my mind are among some variation of "I need to talk to God." And then immediately following, "I want to see Jake." I love God. He's so marvelous and full of grace for me. I really hope my heart is so apparent to everyone -- I'm tired of being ambiguous and vague -- but I don't want to be bold and overbearing. I just want to be loving and kind and for my intentions to be properly attributed with only good. I don't really understand how to be encouraging, but I think I could do it. I think I could strip myself of these practiced methods of being an example and refrain from being so harsh towards those I care for most. I guess, perhaps, I'm just trying to be cautious as not to fall under that stereotype of being that type of "couple"... that kind of girl, that simple-minded person. As a Christian, I've labored against myself and God... which sucks. No more of that. I guess I was falling asleep yesterday on the couch while we were watching the movie -- it was a silly movie -- Wallace and Gromit -- I wanted to watch it, but I my eyes were so weary and heavy -- but I was in that state between dreaming and awake where every thought was compelled or accompanied by what I heard. It's a rather silly thing... and everytime I'd open my eyes I was a little closer to Jake. I finally just took advantage of the rest of the couch and fell upon it with such a large force that I was very inclined to immediately fall asleep. Yes. He kept trying to tickle me and it felt more like he was just scratching my stomach. It was weird, I was so tired I was desensitized. How entirely odd... but I like spending time with him... just kind of being close, but not that kind of close. Yooooooooooou know. I'd like to just lounge with him. He's good at that. Resting is good. 99 on my research paper. Yes. 100 on my research paper in Government. Yes. 100.1 overall grade in Physics. Yes. I hope the next nine weeks will not be so bad. I can do this.