I just really need to clear my head... I can't work if I've confused. I looked for a box to put you away in... something different so I could always know you were there... because you always different. And that night you asked why I felt like I had to be different from everyone else... I wanted to slap you and tell you that I hoped you found someone who would treat you like everyone else. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were so ignorant to me. To my feelings. To my heart. Which was always on my sleeve for you. It still is. And I pretty much still resent you for that. Really, I almost wish I hadn't asked for all of it back... It sits here beside my desk and taunts me. I think that's why my desk is so completely filthy... so papers and books will eventually cover the entire sight of it. It always hurts a little bit. I still want to put you away in a box. I wasn't going to... honestly, but I don't need them to remind me of you anymore. I kept them out with the fear I might forget you. Truly Jake, I don't need pictures and letters to remind me of you. I wish it was the same way for you. But that's what you were to me, letters, experiences, declarations, a person to share my life with like that. Every detail. You were the one. You never let me say, "The past is the past, can we just start from here?" You didn't let me. You held it against me as much as I you. Because I walked into your past and I walked out of my own. I just wanted to go with you. I wanted that silly triangle I wanted to travel I wanted to serve with you. I still do. I guess. I wish I didn't... just because it's not possible. Hearts are weird. My heart was weird for three years. THREE YEARS. Then you came and made it weirder... you came... and it's almost been two years. And my three years was without the reciprocation for that guy. That's what he was. How can you dare to compare yourself to him? You degraded yourself. If that's what you want to be just one of many... fine. But I couldn't stand that you made me just another girl. And for that, I may never forgive you.