ive thrice attempted to change my colour settings, but this vomitous palette is bloody stubborn. the Prefs are correct, so maybe it's on a delay. i hope so.

i am atrocious at keeping in touch with people - which, in a journalling sense, includes myself. I was in a fuzzy near-sleep state when SD popped to mind (sans provocation, from what i can tell); so here i am: typing on my phone, squinting at the tiny print and inflaming my carpal tunnel, out of a sudden attack of nostalgia.

i'm attempting to recover from a life-threatening bacteria contracted via an antibiotic i was recently on, so that's what's new. John has been amazing, as usual, helping me to get what i need and to provide solid support & encouragement. i finally feel like i'm improving; a month of being so sick takes its toll, but it's autumn (my favourite season) & i have been able to rest & relax, so i am actually not complaining. stay home & read, watch telly, & play phone games for a month whilst having a convenient excuse to avoid other humans? yes, please.

plus, thanks to modern technology and amazon smile, i have like 99% of my Christmas shopping done already. i am chronically flaky, so to have everything sorted with not just a day or two but full months in advance is a fantastic feeling. there's no guarantee the wrapping itself won't be last-minute (let's be honest here), but progress is progress.

now, i just have to work on not giving John his gifts early. we are both consistently terrible at that with each other. it's true that giving is often more fun and exciting than receiving; we can never wait to see each other's reactions to Something You Are Gonna LOOOOOVE So Muuuuuch! and always get so impatient awaiting the day. we've improved somewhat over the years — otherwise, we have nothing to open at the hol itself — but it takes effort.

it certainly helps that we've had 7½ years together to practise, haha.

the US Pres election is coming up soon, and i keep vacillating between cautious optimism & angry despair. we need to make critical thinking matter; America is not 'great', and i am no longer convinced it ever truly was. the country had some shining moments, e.g., the New Deal and the prosperity which accompanied it, but its population (the ruling class, especially) has always prioritised money, racist ideals, and individualism so far above intellect, compassion, equanimity, and collectivism as to see only the faintest vestiges of any.

the fact that a bloody -virus- could be politicised at all, and that public health and safety could be causes people actually oppose and protest(!), completely eludes my sense of understanding or logic. wearing a mask is just above putting on pants on the scale of discomfort, and both are simple AF to do if you are an able-bodied individual.

you don't wanna wear it cos it infringes upon your rights? ok, well, not letting me shit on your front lawn infringes upon my right as an earth-person. i shouldn't have to wash my hands before cooking your food after cleaning my cat's litter box with my bare hands; my skin is extremely sensitive and hot water hurts, so it infringes upon my right to personal comfort.

that's how these fvckers sound.

anyway. Biden isn't whom id have chosen for the nominee, had i my 'd'ruthers, but i would at this point take a poo-flinging tamarind over his bloated orange human counterpart any day (and over Kanye. bad Kanye, no vote for you) and am quite chuffed about Kamala Harris, so that's where my votes went (i voted early).

ok, enough politics.

i hope anyone who reads this (and even those who don't) has a great weekend & stays safe. COVID is still a threat, so mask up & flask up! with water, of course. ^_^