i am alone not physically, but mentally and sometimes emotionally I know a lot of u who are reading this, and know who i am, are probably cursing under ur breath, saying things like "shut up pam, u dont know what its like to be alone" etc etc. well guess what, i do and you probably cant see why i would feel alone. i mean, ive got two best friends who mean everything to me, who decorate my locker for my birthday ive got a boyfriend who cares about me and treats me well ive got tons of friends who always try to make me happy when im sad ive got...family? well to a point, sometimes they're just idiots and i hate them. most times actually... ive got the forum guys too. sounds corny but the forum and all the dudes on there mean a lot to me as well. yea its corny shut it. ive been talking with those guys for over a year and a half now. we've had our spats, our bonding moments, our drunken parties, our eating contests, and we abuse the hell outta each other (i know i got scars). all i honestly want to do right now is go out there and hang out with them. just them. theyre like my little escape from transcona and everything in this area. i want to go to jeffs again and listen to him and andy play guitar. or go to tariks and watch all of em play. or go to justins and chill in the hot tub with Andy, Jeff, and Tarik again. and have a snow fight with jeff in our bathing suits. or watch steve strip again (LOL). i just want to hang out with them. i love being like the only girl when i hang out with em, cuz then im treated just like one of the guys. we hit each other, burp at each other, having gross out eating contests, and all "guy stuff" which is just awesome. i love it like that. once theres a bunch of girls there the whole mood of the get together changes from having fun with friends to trying to hook up with another and then that just friggin sucks. Everyone on the forum is just at peace right now, which is great. been talking with Tarik and Hogue moreso then usual, they are interesting characters. And steve finally talked to me, im in awe. and Smith is back. theres another thing im greatful for. Justin Smith. After all the shit we've been through together, after everything, we're still there for each other. i asked him, outta nowhere on msn last night, why some people are such idiots. he laughed and asked if i needed someone to talk to. he said he didnt mind at all letting me vent :) after everything that kid is still making me smile his talk last night calmed me down, as i was rather worked up. i really want to see the st.v guys. *sigh* so u read this, and ask well how can she be lonely? shes got so much there. wish i could answer u i feel like im a faceless being in a crowd. i feel alone. I'll be just fine Pretending I'm not I'm far from lonely And it's all that I've got