well i just copied this bit here from my livejournal, cuz i dont want to re-write it and get all upset and steeze again. andys supposed to hang out with sonja tonite (now its next tuesday). Alone. Call me stupid but ya know, kinda worried bout it. I dunno, we were at his house on tuesday watching Gladiator. She calls, so we stop the movie and hes talking to her on the phone. Shes like "do you wanna hang out sometime?" (or something along those lines) and hes like "yes, yes i really do". and then she asked "well, will your girlfriend mind?" (again, something along those lines) and he goes "no, she won't mind at all." I was prrrrrretty ticked that he just answered for me, while i was sitting right there. Maybe i do care? whatever, so he got off the phone and i was still pissed so i didnt talk/cuddle much for the rest of the movie. He kept asking me what was wrong and i refused to tell. im sure he knew anyways. Later on we were lying upstairs watching tv, and hes like "why were you upset earlier?" and i looked at him and im like, "you serious?" and hes like yea, why were you upset? so i said "i can't believe you even have to ask me. can't you put two and two together?" and told him why i was pissed. he goes "i figured if you trusted me with my ex girlfriend you'd trust me with her". and that made me feel bad and guilty so i just dropped the damn thing and told him i didnt care anymore. but it still really bugs me...i think. I dunno, Ryan, Trisha and I (mostly Ryan and I) talked about it at work today for 2 hours. I love IGA and i love the people i work with. Ryan said if Andy does hurt me, he can get a couple of the guys to go vandalise his stuff. lol, or possibly run him down. those sorts of things. Everyone at work things im so very stupid for letting Andy hang out with her. They all said, given the circumstances, that they wouldn't have let thier bf/gf do it. Id feel like such a bitch tho if i told him i didnt want him to hang out with her. I just cant win. And now its all im gonna be thinking about. I trust him, i really do, but it just bugs me so much :( and if i tell him that it bugs me, ill feel bad for not letting him hang out with the people he wants to. its really just a loose / loose situation for me right now...damnit. I'll just have to keep telling myself that he loves me, and he wouldn't hurt me...cuz that's about all i can do right now... :( so this all sux. it makes me sad. I wish tonite was a bar night cuz i would just get tanked. Andy was on msn when I got home, so i listened to what Ryan said and let Andy talk to me first. He said Hi, but didnt talk for like, 5 minutes at a time cuz he was busy doing something. When he did talk, he didnt even make sence. Then hes like "Jeff and Tarik are here, i gotta go, later" so i said whatever and signed off before he could. We shall see if he calls me at 7:45 tomorrow. I talked to Ian about everything earlier too, he says next time he brings her up, to say "oh shes sounds like a fun girl, we should all hang out sometime" and see what he says. I also told Ian to come to Veronica's shin-dig tomorrow, that way if Andys all baaaaaaaaaaaah, then at least I'll still have Ian. He said he'll give me a hug. Tried to give me one over msn but you know, its not the same. *sigh* this is probably bugging me more then i should. Tuesday will probably come and go and nothing will change. But it's deffinetly still gonna bug me till then I need you now in the worst kind of way...