well... Ah the emotions... So We danced and performed and rocked everyone's socks and hyperventalated and fell and recovered and so much mojo. but you know what? these last few days have been so great. I mean sure my arms are a sort of orange tan color, and my eyes hurt and my smile started twiching at the stake dance after we performed for everyone there. i loved it and i'm so doing that agian! So for the last few days i have been on this high and it stayed until i went to the stake dance and saw him. He was there. HE WAS THERE!! he wasn't supposed to be there. I really didn't know what to do. I saw him dancing with a chick that i hadn't seen before, and he was singing to her. Like he'd do when we were together. How long had it been since we talked? 4 months? I don't even know if he saw me be Roxie... I saw him later come into the dance floor with the girl he was dancing with eariler. I never saw him with anyone else. I just wanted to talk to him. Stephen asked me if there was anyone i wanted to dance with and i told him the truth. and later i pointed him out and Stephen went over and told him! Then later He came over to KJ and asked her about debate. I waited and stalled for a moment for him to come to me... it never happened. He just danced with the same girl... Last time i saw him he was with a girl too.... Why Can't I ever let go! I NEVER LET GO! I still try to hold on even when i should just give up and let them go. But i can't. I just stay wrapped in this torture and i can't stand it anymore! ......... how is it that when i want to cry something happens like this and then i just can't stop? Maybe someday things will be better, maybe someday i'll be alone... thank you Coltin, i don't think i would've been able to handle it, if you weren't there.