I CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM HIM. No matter what I say, or how long he's gone. If he comes back around even once, I want him back. Sunday night, I all but ran him down, and I know he probably thinks I'm the stupidest girl he's ever dated too. And I feel so desperate to get him to miss me enough to come back to me. He wants to be together....he doesn't..I don't knowww ): I'm not going to give Ethan my church address because I don't want him to come. I don't want Cliff to see him. Any guy now is just a rebound, I've known that for a while and felt bad for the guys I've talked to. And until Cliff is like really gone, they all will be. I don't want anyone else, no one else is good enough. Everything makes me think of him, even still. I can't hang out with Taylor without thinking of Cliff, I can't listen to Secondhand or Spill Canvas without almost crying over him. That...era of my life is the one thing I would ever relive over and over again. From Febuary to May. My boys by my side. Cliff being my main boy. The band..everything. ): I remember the last time we were together in Zach's bed. I should've asked more from him. I should've made him promise to me nothing would change when he left. And he would come back and still want me. He told me he loved me that night too. I know know know if I could've asked more, and done more for him, he'd still be mine. I WANT HIM. I WANT HIM TO WANT ME. I DONT WANT ANYONE ELSE. ):