You know? It's just the gut wrenching feeling when you're best guy friend is falling for a girl that you just hate. And it's not every girl he's liked before; neither is it anything he has done. You just hate her for one reason or another. I just do not like this trick.

I've always been the loyal type. To who ever I was closest to at that moment in my life. I've never been the one to find reason to leave, ever. I love Court to death, but he is dead set on a relationship at this point in his life, and she just happened to ditz by, and now he is stuck on HER HER HER. Fuck that bitch man, for real.

He goes and tells me she is history, out of the picture, don't talk to her, don't like her, never bring her name up again. He's said this thousands of times before, but he made it legit this time so I stopped worrying about the bitch. Now, he's gonna turn around and tell me he's falling for her? How the hell are you falling for someone you supposedly don't talk to? Betrayal maybe? I know you can't help who you "fall for" but it just happens you're gonna pick the trick over your closest friend? Nah, I'm not down with that. And of course I have one of my biggest shoots tomorrow he's supposed to come to with me and I don't even want to see him. All this effort I put into our friendship and he's gonna blow it on that bitch.

DEM Girls, Bizness Meet, Mitch, family, meetings, hanging out. All gone to hell now cause this girl already doesn't like me around.

Awesome.

Sometimes I fucking hate my dad for leaving because I've always ended up attaching myself to people and it's always fucked me over in the end, always, every single time.

I hate to blow him off and be like, "Fuck it", but I don't think I can do it, honestly. He's been there for me through thick and thin, it'd be wrong of me to do that ... But to lie to my face and then straight admit it in the most unfashionable way. I'm not down.

I'm so fucking ill right now. Fuck. This. Bullshit. And fuck that bitch to hell while I'm at it.

Bedtime.