My mom and I never talk anymore. And a part of me feels bad, but the other part of me is just worn down and out about her.
I am happy about my life and where I am at and what I do. I've never been so happy. I get to model part time, which allows me to meet new people from all over North Carolina and make really good friends. I get to host at a steakhouse, which let's me interact with all sorts of people, and the people I work with are amazing. I get to work for a marketing company, which allows me to learn some great information on how to work with groups of people. I get to plan large events and make a lot of people happy. I get to run DEM Girls and also get to be apart of the group modeling. I get to go to college part time, which is always fun, plus I like what I'm studying, so that makes things twice as easier. I get to be apart of an awesome band, which let's me put to use my talent to sing and play the keyboard and write music. Besides ALL of that, I still get free time to hang out with my friends, spend money on my car, and do things just for me once in a while.
Nothing I do, is okay by my mom. My modeling is slutty, my friends are bad, my music could be a little less emotional, a little more faster, a little less loud, a little more ballad. My job doesn't allow me to make enough money, my grades are NEVER good enough. We haven't carried on a real conversation in maybe two weeks. Everytime we try, we argue about something. Money, modeling, friends, curfew, SOMETHING. I give up, it's so dumb and annoying, I hate hearing her bitch, I hate talking to her cause all we do is argue.
It hruts cause I see how it affects her, but I don't know what to do about it. I'm not going to stop and drop all that I am doing for her. That would make me unhappy. And I'm moving out soon, so what is the point? I have a huge fan base with my modeling, I can't stop now, and I won't. Where I am now? Took me about 5 months to accomplish. To let it all go to waste is stupid of me. This is my future. I am who I am, this is who I want to be. I'm so happy with where I am in life. She doesn't see that. I don't know. I just can't wait to be out of this house. The stupid part is, I abide by all her rules, even though they are stupid. I am home by 9:00 Sunday-Thursday and 11:30 Friday and Saturday. She leaves me notes of stuff to do and I always do them without asking, and she still finds something to bitch about.
Done with this for now...