Yup, it all happened so fast. We broke up and then like i'm not sure what happened. He called that night and said he couldn't be without me, even though right before that he said i would never see him again. It hurt a lot the first day. The next day, which was yesterday i was out with Josh, Cameron, Billy, Brandon, and Matt all day and i feel a lot better about my decision. Actually, yesterday, we planned on taking a break and then getting back together cuz he said he could not be without me. But then he called me at 1am and asked me if i really wanted him back and i told him : "I want you to step up your act. I want to be with you, but i'm thinking about our future, and i don't want to be the only one working while you play around. I don't want to be like your parents or Tammy & Steve." And he thought about that and said "Well, i can't do that, i'm not going to grow up. This really will be the last time we talk." And he hung up. And i mean, i think its sad he wants to be so low. I deserve way better than second best. If josh hadn't come around i wouldve settled for tc because i didn't know what else was out there. Sarah was right when she said i wouldve never noticed josh if tc had been the boyfriend he shouldve been.

Me and josh are like basically a couple. I dunno like we aren't like bf/gf. But we hold hands and cuddle and stuff. At first it was difficult, i mean i wanted to hide it in public because god forbid i see someone who knows tc and me. So we didn't do it in public yesterday. But i was so afraid cuz tc with was jake and henrick and theyre like mall guys and i was so afraid they were gonna show up and see me with those 5 guys. Which wouldve no lie caused a fight in public. And i wouldve hated that. But like jake, tc and henrick are like my height. The guys i was with are like 6'+ in height. So, anyways. I feel a lot better about everything. I needed to get rid of him for a long time now, and this is what is best, i know, even though it hurts a bit. He was like a habit and it's weird not texting him or talking to him at night.

Josh isnt my rebound though. I've liked josh for about 3 weeks now. I am sort of using him to fill that tc void, but not much beause im getting stronger without him. I know what is best for me, and it's not him. Someone like josh who refuses to let me pay, opens my car door for me is the kind of guy i need.

Anyway, i'm like 15 minutes late for work lol, gotta run:)