Mood: Clean! Music: "The Gladiator" Soundtrack I WANT TO DIE! Still sick, yeah. I'm miserable. The flow will be choppy. Deal with it. First Dream: Weird-ass shit. The first thing I remember is Vonna, only she's not Vonna now. She's blond and has this brownish eyeshadow - she's Dolly like this. This personna's name is Dolly. Evan's there. We're outside in this - not really a city, but too big to just be a town place. There's sunlight, but it feels like late afternoon, like it's setting. And Evan leads me into this radio station by this lake on the outskirts of town - he's still holding my hand. And this lake is actually connected to a river, which is connected to an ocean or bay that really isn't all too far away. There are these people fishing there, too - older, retired-looking fellows. And Evan takes me into the building, Dolly stands at the door like she's keeping watch, and he starts to flip a lot of switches and push a lot of buttons. It's like we're trying to send a message, or trying to keep one from being broadcast. And he puts this CD in and asks me what to do. I'm standing there, my legs are a little shaky, and I'm holding his hand tenaciously (yeah, that's a good word to describe it). And I look at him for a second, and he asks me again what he's supposed to do ... Then I just start flipping a lot of switches, turning dials, pressing buttons - and I do it so fast that I'm done in less than five seconds - and this music starts to play ... rock-like. I can't describe it now, I can only hear it, but it sounds like rock. And it suddenly feels like someone's realized what we've done - played something forbidden, or killed off this mind-control frequency or something - and we know that they're coming, so Evan grabs me and pulls me out of there, we start to run. Then Dolly says that we need to split up, and she forces Evan's hand out of mine. Then Dolly presses her hands against my face, and they feel like they have something cool on them and she's putting it on my face. I start to change - I don't look like the Dream Me anymore. I grow a few inches - and my hair gets very long, past my waist, and it's white-ish blond, and I'm wearing this burgundy wardrobe. I look different. And I think she did it to keep me from getting caught. We split up. I have something in my hands. I don't remember what it is, but I've started walking around the huge lake, past the fishermen, when suddenly this person - I don't remember what he looked like, but he ran up to me, grabbed the thing I was holding and threw it into the lake. And, without thinking, I grab this thing from my side - a dagger I think - and just bring it down on this guy's head, right into the top of the guy's skull - like it was the most fluid motion in the world. Next thing I know, he's gone, and I'm trying to get whatever it is I had out of the water with a stick because ... for some reason, I can't touch the water. And I spend a while doing this. Until finally two of the fishermen come over to me and say "Hey, looks like you need a little help there." And they start to help me by using their rods. Then, suddenly, this HUGE ship - looks like a fucking CRUISE LINER - comes up on the lake from the river. There's this auburn-haired woman on the deck in a fuscia dress - but she looks like she's a leader of some kind of organization of sorts. And she yells down from the deck "Where is he?" And I just stare up at her, and so do the two fishermen. But she looks VERY angry and she yells again "WHERE IS HE?" Then one of the fishermen says something about scaring away all the fish. Then I wake up. Several dreams came after that - I woke up several times, but I don't remember them. Sorry. Second and last dream: I'm the Dream Me again. I don't remember how it started, but I'll start where I remember it. I'm running through this wood. It feels like early morning. Dawn, but before the sun comes up and cloudy. And I'm just running, barefoot, and in these - I think white - pajamas or scrubs or something. Everything has a grey tint. There's little to no color - and I'm in pain. A lot of pain. I can't describe the pain that I felt then, because this was the earliest part that I remember, and things are just remembered and not detailed when it comes to the earliest part. But I do remember that my neck feels like whiplash and that's the least of my worries. I feel very heavy, and like I've been running for a while - a long while. And I feel like I have to keep running. I can't stop or whatever it is I'm running from will catch me, and hurt me again - and I'm too weak to stop it. I can feel twigs and leaves under my feet as I run, and I can feel how tired my legs are ... And for some odd reason I feel like this dream is a memory. Whatever is chasing me keeps getting closer, like I'm not even moving at all. I hear something that sounds like hungry wolves or dogs barking and growling - chasing me - but I know that's not what's chasing me, that's just the sound it makes. And I feel something grab me - and it feels like it's crushing me. I close my eyes. I scream. I can FEEL this scream - I scream over and over - and I can FEEL this, in my throat - the vibration and the irritation. I open my eyes. And there's Evan, sitting next to me, looking down on me. He has brown eyes. He's speaking to me, but it's fuzzy at first, like it's not quite registering - but I can make out him saying my name, and something about a nightmare. I think he was telling me that I'd just has a nightmare. The room I'm in - I can't tell what color it is - the only thing I can see is the yellow/golden color from morning sunlight. You know, the early sunlight when it pours into a room. I'm sure there's a window somewhere, but I can't see it - all I can see is Evan hovering over me, looking like a worried nursemaid or something. I just breathe and look up at him. And then I realize that I'm bandaged. I can feel one around my head. And I move my head, and I can see one on my right arm - all down the forearm, I have bandages - and I can feel why - I can feel this large slash that I have running down the length of my arm. But then I feel dizzy, because I turned my head. But suddenly I remember something, and I sit up with a start as I'm suddenly scared "Your leg!" And I hear Evan say "Don't!" as I sit up so fast - And suddenly I'm over come with this excruciating pain. It's like I was snapped in half and suddenly my entire torso is just filled with this hot, throbbing pain - and I can't breathe. I scream. I feel Evan put his hands on my shoulders and carefully help me to lay back down, and I'm struggling for air as he's coaxing me softly with words like "Down. Down. Slow. Good. Easy. Careful. You're doing fine. Little more." And I feel my head on the pillow as I hear him say "There you go." I can feel how wide my eyes are, how suffocating this pain is. I think I'd been in some kind of battle or fight with something or someone - or that I had gone somewhere and something happened. I know in the dream what had happened, I don't remember it now that I'm awake. I feel like I can't move my head anymore - like it's just too heavy. Evan touches my face and the pain starts to fade a little - that fluttery feeling coming to my stomach. He leans a little closer to me and says "my leg is fine." I lift my arm, I can feel the pull on the torn flesh, I can sort of feel a stitch here and there, but I lift my hand to his face - but I hesitate to touch it. I can't talk, but my voice comes out as this very hoarse, cry-like whisper. "You are Evan, aren't you?" He smiles at me, takes my wrist, and presses my palm to his cheek. He feels cool. He says "It's me. I'm here. You don't have to be scared." And I just smile - a real one, a genuine one. I remember thinking "he's safe" and then wanting to hold him so badly. And just as I raise my other hand to his cheek, someone comes through the door and says something like "I heard him scream, what happened?" I don't know who it is at the time, but now that I'm awake, I think it might have been Vonna/Dolly. Evan grabs my other wrist and now holds both of my hands to his face. He kisses the palm of my right and says "He sat up. Nothing to worry about." And the person leaves. Evan lets go of my wrists and tucks his hands around me, under my shoulderblades, and my arms fold over his neck as he says "Don't do that again." I whisper "okay." My stomach starts to feel fluttery again as he nuzzles my head to the side. I can feel his breath on my neck - warm - before he kisses it. Many kisses I get from him. I remember him whispering "my love" at least twice before I woke up. That's it. And, I just want to thank Lindsay for coming online and making my day. Comment on my dreams if you want. Yeah ... just ... end. Blessed be.