God hates me. I typed an entry. Something happened. I don't know ... but I wasn't done yet and then - boom - everything froze. I had to start over. I hate this. Anyway - I was going to type out dreams, but seeing as how I have to leave in a few minutes for my Aunt Violet's funeral, this will be kept short and sweet. I woke up a lot last night, so I had a lot of dreams, I just don't remember much. In one dream, I became lucid. There was this man with dark blond hair sitting on a throne, and he pulled me into his lap to straddle him - and he said Larc so I just became lucid and he was telling me all this stuff ... loads and loads of stuff that I can't remember now, but I do remember that he was holding my hands very tightly on the arms of the throne and his thumbs started to dig into my palms ... because he was getting mad. Another dream is that I found my lovely - just us, and we packed and went away. We packed, got in my car, and went away, far far far far away ... I don't know where, but we went away. Another dream, I saw this woman. She was in a tight, white shirt and red pants - and she had this long, long black hair and dark eyes ... she was bad, and I knew it - I don't remember much about the circumstances, but I remember that wherever we were, it was dark ... very dark. I was wearing this ... all black body suit - I was feeling very powerful, but my emotions were getting the best of me. And I'd grabbed her arms, shaking her, screaming "WHY DID YOU KILL MY SISTER?!?!" And that's all I remember. So apparently, in dreams, I had a sister ... who was killed ... but why is this the first time I remember her? Unless all that "looping" I've been doing lately has caused me to remember her ... so maybe ... all that "looping" wasn't for nothing. Damn, I type fast. Anyway. "So, Seth, how's your life going?" Yeah, I know, I haven't really written a good entry lately - just been things to let you wonderful people know that I'm not dead. Well, in a nutshell. Friday morning, my Aunt Violet died. I hadn't really seen her in a while, but I'd always known that she was around, you know, just in case - and I haven't really broken down yet, but I know I will in a few minutes when I get to the funeral home. What else? I'm taking chemistry - it's not that bad. I think the reason why I get it is because I'm always so interested in knowing how things work - right down to the very smallest part. My dad always thought I was going to be a scientist because I always wanted to know "why." Today is Father's Day and I don't have a dad anymore, but you know ... I'm also going to a funeral. Yeah. This is a great day. "What else, Seth?" My lovely and I had a little glytch in our relationship, but we're fine now, I think ... I even talked ot her on the phone a couple of times - and you all know how much I hate those things. Well, Lee's finally stopped getting into fights with the neighbor's cat. Of course ... that cat's also been missing for a few weeks. Before I left for the retreat, I got news that I have a tumor on my kidney. The fluid's benign, so it's an operable tumor, which means I'm going to be okey dokey after surgery, but still, you know, the word "tumor" can really strike fear into the hearts of people. For those of you reading this going "Oh my God, Seth!" - don't worry. I'll be fine. I'll always be fine. Of course, I think that the Powers that Be hate me because I just can't stay healthy for very long. I'm always getting sick, or having surgery - and I'm sick of it. I mean, I'm like a play thing to them. "Let's see what we can do to Seth next. Maybe this will kill him." Anyway ... I'll write more another time. My ride's here. Blessed be. Happy Solstice and Happy Father's Day.