I usually get really depressed on days like this (when it’s really cloudy and gloomy) but today was really different. Maybe because my hair was up and didn’t have much of a chance to get totally thrashed by the weather? But in class, everyone seemed to be going crazy. I think the rain had something to do with it. I like it when it rains really hard. If it’s going to rain, it may as well COMPLETELY mess up my hair. Not mess it up enough to look horrible, and then get all sunny. That just…sucks. But today was totally cool. With the thunder…and the lightning…awesome. But the only thing was that, at the end of the day when I had to go to my last class, the clouds had reached their height of coolness and I so wanted to stay outside and enjoy it, but instead I had to go into my history class, which has no windows. It almost seemed like we were at school at nighttime. I have always wanted to do that… But yeah way cool weather. After school we gave Tony a ride home and dropped my brother off with my dad. Thank god. He really has been getting on my nerves lately. Like he is not at all positive anymore. At all… Today at lunch Jordan and Theron and I just kinda hung out and talked about how cool the weather is and about what topic I should choose for my persuasive speech in English. I still don’t know what I want to do. Some ideas we came up with were: - Freedom of choice - Drug legalization - Why entertainers and sports people get paid more than doctors and scientists and teachers, etc. - Whether we should be in Iraq or not (and if we’re there because we genuinely want to help the people living there or if we’re only there for our own benefit) - And there were quite a few others. I just can’t remember them right now. A girl in my English class was talking about doing her speech on self-mutilation. She was thinking of how so many people do it because they don’t have a creative outlet. Then somebody mentioned people taking out their aggression by writing in journals, like this one. I thought about it, and it made sense. I used to write in a diary, but then my brother and my neighbor found it and read it and told everybody about what was in it. I got really depressed and stopped writing anything down or telling anyone anything. That was when I didn’t have any creative outlets, as I wasn’t taking an art class at the time either. I then started feeling worse and worse, especially because during that time my dad moved out and my parents decided to get divorced. I started well…not cutting…but hurting myself. I will definitely admit that I was really really stupid. And I regret it. But then I started writing in journals online, and I think that helped a lot. I could get stuff out and people that I didn’t want to see certain things that I wrote couldn’t see them. So yes I think journals are a good thing. Unless you’re illiterate. Then…I don’t know what to tell ya.