I've got to see more than one naked bloke in one week, and for some reason I feel shit. Why? Because the second one was Jonny. Yes, yes, it's time for another Lucy-Relins-turned-Bridgette-Jones diary entry about how my life was as good as it has ever been but I've STILL managed to go and completely fuck the whole thing up. I hope you're sitting confortably. Right, well I think I told you all that Tommy and me were winding Jonny up over Tommy's MSN, pretending that I still like him (which I do actually now, but I didn't. Well, I forgot about... argh just read on!!). So yeah, we were winding him up, and in the end he asked if I'd unblock him from my MSN because he wanted to talk to me. So I did, and Jonny appologised for everything, saying he knew he'd been a dickhead and he was really reeally sorry for the stuff that happened with Bucky... blahblah etcetc. So of course, stupid dickhead over here feels sorry for him and despite the distraction of the flashing yellow MSN box that was Tommy egging me on to "Make him get naked!!", "Tell him to wank in front of you!!", "Take pictures of him naked and send them to his grandma!!", etcetc, ... I errr didn't. (note carefully the fact that all of Tommy's suggestions had something to do with Jonny being in the nude. I'll leave you to stew that one over...) So, I carried on talking to Jonny in a friendly manner... until Wednesday, that is. He told me he'd had his hair done, and so I asked him what it was like, and he said he'd show me on his webcam (yes, I know the alarm bells should have started ringing here), so I said okay (and they definately should have been ringing here). So yeah, I saw the hair, very nice, but of course with the hair, comes the Jonny, whom is also very nice, and whom I also hadn't seen for a good for months, and whom I also thought I was over. Hahaha. It now strikes me, that, feeling as bad as I did because of Joe and stuff, at this point I should have discontinued veiwing the webcam. But, you see, I'm stupid. Basically. So yeah, we carried on talking until he turned the camera off for a bit, so I asked why and he said you want to know why and I said yes and he turned it back on again and he was naked. Turning the camera off here would also have been a really good idea, but no, I was still stupid. I was also jealous that he had been getting naked for someone else (Sophie, this lass who he told me he liked, and yet the alarm bells were still not ringing), so I had to go one better and get him to toss off in front of me. Yeah, there's more detail than that but I think you probably get the idea. I went to college the next day feeling awful, but I couldn't tell anyone because of Joe. And I know I'd have to be clinacally insane to finish what I have with Joe for Jonny. So I left it. 'Til I felt worse. So when Jonny signed on last night I started talking to him again. Conbined with the fact that I was missing Joe like hell because I never see him anymore, feeling really really angry at Jason who'd decided to fall out with me (see below for the conversation) and feeling really really upset and frustrated that Jonny was taking ages to type back because he was talking to Sophie again (the really destressing thing was the fact that I was veiwing him on the webcam, and I could actually see him typing back to her all the time but not to me), when Jonny finally decided to turn the camera off because he was getting naked for Sophie again, I lost it. So I had an argument with Jonny. So now I feel like shit. I don't want to go out with Joe anymore because I'm so annoyed that I can't see him that it makes me cry, I don't want to talk to Jonny because it hurts (shit he's just signed on. FUCK.) and I just feel like crying all the time for some reason (haha, he's blocked me. Now I'm going to cry) and this hasnt just been since the argument. It's all the time. And I feel like I really need someone here for me but there's no one. And I can't exactly cry on Joe about it. Haha my life's shit. What the hell is wrong with me?! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: we were talking and he told me had had his hair done and i wanted to see so he showed me on his webcam I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: and well we continued talking and then he was showing me stuff on the webcam I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: i think you get the idea I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: :-S Jason says: dood thats sick I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: errrrr yep Jason says: shut up! Jason says: you like watched it all pretty much Jason says: admit it dood Jason says: u still like jonny Jason says: sumthing with the both of u is keep sparking up n stuff Jason says: eurgh! I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: i think he's hot yeah I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: but i have a boyfriend I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: thats the naughty part Jason says: ...oh great u have a bf now Jason says: dude maybe u shud start sorting yourself out Jason says: im sick of hearing stuff I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: woah woah, what exactly have you heard? Jason says: everything and everything I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: why dont you come to me instead of "hearing stuff" I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: because what if it isnt even true? Jason says: doesn't matter eitherway Jason says: im just tired of hearing shit Jason says: u know what Jason says: i was the one who had the balls to ask for ur number in the most wierdest and hardest way ever Jason says: i was the one who had the appleheart breaking crush on u since the begining of the year at ponte Jason says: i was like trying to get to know u on bus rides and try and take you out to gigs so we can talk right Jason says: but no Jason says: my fucking best friend (ex best friend) had to jump on me n take your lead Jason says: followed me n introduced himself to you Jason says: went to the friggin gigs as ur so called "bf" Jason says: had me along side wishing i was the one and stuff Jason says: just so u know the gig we went to RBF and goldfinger with zebrahead and the mathes... i went home upset as anything Jason says: but yet after all this time you didn't know any of this did you?? I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: he didnt introduce himself to me i went to him I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: i didnt even kow you knew him I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: i met him through rob Jason says: ... what ever lucy, what ever Jason says: i went around everywhere and helped u both out Jason says: all i got was nothng in the end and i just realised if i never helped u or jonny u'd both be at eachothers throats Jason says: ...jeese why am i even talking to you I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts, didilly dee dum... says: i dont know Jason says: anyways have a nice life dood, was nice... trying... to get to know you a yea rand half wasted or what just so u know i held out all this time thinking i could take u out on a date For fucks sake I just wanted to talk to someone. :'o(