I WAS THINKING, about barry, and what brandi said. i really think barry doesnt have a girl friend. i know he says he does but im starting to duobt it. its just that hes the kind of person who wants to make everyone happy, no matter what, which might be the reason he cuts, anyway i think he only says he has a girl friend because he doesnt want to hurt anyone by picking one girl to go out with. all of us like him, brandi, me, sam, jess, every one!!!!! we think he likes me, im the only one he really talks to or even hangs with now, its wierd. anyway, im board. theres no one online right now and so im board. ive got to tell brandi to watch the real word tonite at 9, its the cutting one. im havin a pretty wierd day, i almost got caught smokin in my back yard today. i was snortin stuff again yesterday, just cuz i was board. it was nothin bad, just some vitamin pills i crushed up and sniffed through a tube. im so board being me. i decided to wear a fake lip ring to school on monday, just to get a reaction from people. im trying to think of something me, brandi, sam and barry can do this week. i want us to hang out and talk or see a movie or something, anything to keep us together. were drifting apart, i can really feel it. its obviuos that barry has left us and sam p. too. i dont think sam l. will but i no brandi might, especially if someone turns her in for cutting on the bus friday. i hope they dont. she cant have any fresh ones just in case, but i think everyone will forget about it by then. im not gonna cut anymore me and brandi made a pact so we wouldnt, wow, a whole lot of nothing sure takes up room, lol. still i feel like something is bothering me. i feel numb, just not happy os sad, just numb. im pretending to be happy, but in the woods i tried to cut, all i did was scrath. im so confused, how can someone feel nothin, numb, empty? well, if you know plz comment.