WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME????? i cut bad yestirday afternoon and night. i have over 50 cuts on my leg and a huge, deep, horrible gash on my arm. im sorry i did it, but it was wierd. it didnt help me, i didnt feel good after, like i usally do, it just made the pain worse, it didnt go away this time. is that wierd? i couldnt do it enough to help, it sucks. ive been holding the major cutting back but it was too much, and i broke, i did it this time. i know that brandi and vicki are gonna cut DEEPER than what i did, which means they WILL DIE! they are deep enough, and deeper youll hit a vien, im worried. how could I do this to MYSELF????? how could I hurt MYSELF soo BADLY????? im soo numb inside and this time i cant wake up. i want to kill myself, nothing will get rid of this pain anymore, even cutting doesnt work, that scares me to death. i think im just gonna break this time and go away for ever, like racheal did, i can. ill just do what i did to make my cut on my arm so deep to my wrist, ill die FOR SURE. on a better note, im goin to alex's house today. im gonna hang with him and andy, yay, i get to be gropped!!!!NOT!!!!! i hope i dont get so happy i cheat on vicki, i love her and miss her, i dont want to hurt her. i wont, i PROMISE I WONT CHEAT OR HURT HER TODAY!!! plz, leave a comment and take away my pain.