I'm sick of always feeling sad. But anyways. He said it was just some random girl. But it wasn't. There was no random girl that he asked to go to the movie on the lawn. It. Was. Kelcy. I don't know why that bothers me so much. Possibly because she hates me? But I shouldn't say that, he has the right to like whoever he wants. To be friends with whoever he wants. But it does bother me that he told me some random girl. He could have just said Kelcy. My feelings are hurt. I hate being lied to. I was so meh yesterday. They'll end up together. I can see it now... January 13, 2005... I arrive in the airport and see Scott and a crowd moving around him. Once the crowd moves by I can see her standing there holding *his* hand. He squeezes her hand as in "I love you and she is only a friend." He walks over. I stare at them dumbly. I put my arms around him to give him a hug which he doesn't return. Then I pick up my duffel and walk behind them, a tag along. We stop at some restraunt for dinner. They sit next to each other and he drapes his arm around the back of her chair. They share food of the same plate. They order some virgin drink with two straws. The way that they stare at each other is unnerving. When he gets up to go to the bathroom she makes a sarcastic remark about how glad she is that I'm visiting. She then stands up and goes over to a nearby table. She flirts with some guy and walks away when she notices him coming back. Then we get back in his car. I sit noisly in the back while they have a conversation about their mutual friends who are dating. I stare out the window and cry quietly. No one would care if they heard anyways. He drops her off at home and the second she is in her door he asks me what I think. The way he looks so hopeful, like he wants my approval, really hurts. I smile and nod and say stupidly "You two seem happy together." It's not like I said I enjoy seeing them together. I don't know why I have to be so selfish all the time. I really like Scott but I shouldn't want him to myself. Look at the way I flirt with Craig and Chambers too. I should just shut up. I need to stop whining. At least he would be happy. I want him to be happy. Even if it means I'm standing outside in the snow with my nose pressed to the window while he makes out with some girl and I attempt to stay warm.